If you are here and reading this post, chances are you tend to stress WAY too much about other people’s thoughts about you. Don’t worry, you are not alone.
Overthinking and anxiety about other’s opinions is something I’ve struggled with all my life. While it can show up in many forms—like, stopping us from speaking our truth, deciding what we do and don’t post on social media, and even regarding big-deal life decisions like which jobs to seek—it often holds us back from going after our most sincere goals. Or worse, it can prevent us from being our authentic selves. It’s natural to want others to like and respect us, but worrying too much about other’s thoughts takes a toll on our mental health.
These tips & reminders have really helped me keep things in perspective and calm my mind – I hope this helps you too. ❤
1. Have a deep understanding of who you are and your world view.
What’s important to you in life? What are your moral values? What are your skills and downfalls?
People may critique your beliefs or actions, but if they are grounded in your values, the criticism is less likely to stick. Fully understanding and accepting yourself results in confidence.
Get to know yourself better with these 50 self-discovery journal prompts.
2. Understand that life experience shapes people’s opinions & view of the world.
If you’re going to take anything from this article, let it be this: IT’S NOT THAT PERSONAL.
Everyone’s lives and experiences are very different and unique. And everyone’s experiences shapes who they are and how they think. Thus, if someone is judging you or thinks ill of you in some way, it’s not about you, it’s a culmination of their own life experiences and expectations that forms their opinion.
This is why #1 is very important. Once you have a solidified world view of your own, other people’s don’t matter.
3. Take back control of your mind + emotions.
Other people might have poor opinions about you, but that doesn’t have to translate into difficult emotions.
Consider practicing mindfulness techniques. Mindfulness is about staying in the present moment and training your brain to be in the now. Learning to be present can help you cope with those unwanted feelings and thoughts.
Here are a few strategies you can try:
- Meditation
- Yoga
- Breathing exercises
- Journaling
4. A lot of the time, judgement comes from a place of insecurity.
Everyone is guilty of this at one point or another, whether you want to admit it or not.
When people feel insecure, they try to put other people down as a way to boost their self-esteem. When in truth, it is a clear reflection of their unhappiness. Judgements are soft spots; they highlight inner weaknesses. Ask yourself, do you know anyone who is completely secure with who they are and also consistently judges other people?
The next time you are worried that someone thinks poorly of you or is judging you in some way, think about this and lead with compassion instead of fear and anger.
5. Absolutely NO ONE is perfect.
Perfection is impossible. More importantly, judgement for failing to attain perfection is unfair and completely unhelpful. Keep in mind that anyone who thinks badly of you for making a mistake has made plenty themselves.
Plus, making mistakes is an important part of self-growth. Look at them as learning opportunities.
6. Embrace your insecurities and imperfections.
As we just discussed, no one is perfect. In fact, your imperfections are what makes you unique and interesting. Instead of feeling ashamed of them, embrace and accept them. Not only will this bring you peace, it will also lead to deep confidence. And a confident person doesn’t give a f#@$ what you think.
An extra tip: Nothing is inherently embarrassing. People ping off you to decide if what you said or did is embarrassing or not. Just by smiling and laughing, you convey that you aren’t ashamed. When you know nothing can embarrass you, you release the impulse to worry about what other people think.
7. The only opinion that matters is yours.
No one else is living your life. And no one knows you better than you. Therefore, your opinion is the only one that matters when it comes down to your own life.
So make yourself proud and stop thinking about whether or not it will please others. It’s okay to put yourself first – your happiness is important. And, frankly, it’s no one else’s business.
The bottom line:
Learning to not care what people think about you is a lifelong journey, not an instant transformation that happens overnight, so be kind and forgive yourself if you fall back into the cycle of worrying. If you find yourself feeling attached to their opinions of you, just remember: IT’S NOT THAT PERSONAL. They, like you, are walking a long journey of internal healing and growth, and their attitudes are unique and personal to them.
